Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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