Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
