I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
