her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
