In America we eat man semen.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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