I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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