i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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