Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
