jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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