i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
