your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
