I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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