And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
