Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
