I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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