I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
