thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
