WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
