Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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