Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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