your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
