I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
