thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
