What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
