Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
