Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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