I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
