I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize