Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize