Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
