it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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