Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
