that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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