hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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