Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
