Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
