i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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