See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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