I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
