shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
