He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
