You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
