i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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