Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
