its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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