Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
