she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize