Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
should my penis look like a turkey
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize