You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
