your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
