I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
