he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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