I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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