Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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