your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he thought i was a dude.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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