to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
