i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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