Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
