I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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