Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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