Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
