yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
