The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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