So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
