She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
