Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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