Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
